Writing From Factor X

April 10, 2011

Sunday Linkspam

Filed under: Signal Boost — Sciatrix @ 4:13 pm
Tags: ,

If I have missed anything interesting about asexuality, please let me know in the comments–and seriously, feel free to self-promote here!

From Shades of Gray: Do You Want To?

Do you know what? If you (any of you) have spoken directly to someone who has suffered that, do you think you would know it? Given the victim-blaming reactions, and the idea that “you’re not asexual, you’re just suffering from trauma—did someone ever do anything… weird to you when you were a kid?” do you think it’s likely that people who have experienced anything like that would feel welcomed to disclose it to you?

From acewatch: What about asexuality? We are a sexuality too! (for the comments)

Obviously, this isn’t an article about asexuality or asexuals which is… you know, good, but I keep seeing it pop up as a referrer of my wordpress blog (I was linked to at the bottom) and thought some courageous aces might want to offer their opinion.

Subtlefire in particular comments on the same article:

The crushing fear that you will never be loved, or that you will have to give up a piece of yourself to maintain a relationship, which will probably cause a lot of resentment, likely ruining said relationship, and then you’re back where you started but with a lot more self-loathing because it’s all your fault: that’s always in the background, and at times it can be overwhelming.

From Charlie the Unicorn, Ace Detective: Yeah, but are you DISCRIMINATED against?

True, you don’t really hear about “asexual suicides,” or people being assaulted for not being interested in anyone, or bullied into a deep depression. But saying that asexuals don’t face any significant problems is absurd. The problems may come from a different place, but they are still there.

From Psychology Today: For Asexuals, Gays, and Lesbians, Adolescent Response is Especially Depressing

Some of the adolescents in the study said that they were not attracted to either sex, and some said that they were attracted to people of the same sex. Romance had the same implications for them as it did for adolescents attracted to the opposite sex – they became more depressed if they became romantically involved than if they did not. The difference was this: The effect was even greater for adolescents reporting no attraction to either sex or attraction to people of the same sex. Depression deepened even more for them if they became romantically involved.

From An Asexual Space: Being in an ace/sexual relationship

This is a long post, but Girlfriend, otherwise known as Drake, offered to have a conversation with me about being in an asexual/sexual relationship, and we found a few things to discuss. Lots of this is, of course, unique to us. But since the number of available accounts are so small, any addition to the conversation helps build a wider picture.

From qbqt: Something I wanted to ask!

Asexuals who are also writers! Or, I suppose, not necessarily writers but people who have characters. Characters who, unlike you, are sexuals.

  • That is, do you have any?
  • If you don’t, why not?

From Asexuality, Unabashed: On Dating Sexuals, Part One

Remember, most RR are following the romantic blueprint, the romance manual for sexual people.  When you toss in the asexual factor the game changes.

Interesting but not technically about asexuality:

From melannen: Love & Marriage

One thing I love in a good SF story is ways of doing love, marriage, and romance that don’t buy in to our society’s idea of love+romance+sex+monogamy all on one single person as the only way to do it.

I have a small collection of worlds that have come up with better ways, and I have a great deal of fun trying to fit the ‘shipping debates from various fandoms into these other ways of looking at love. I especially love the way that many of them explicitly acknowledge the value of non-sexual, sometimes non-romantic, relationships that are of equal importance with the sexual ones.

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