So yeah, I am going to keep doing these. This one is more or less things I bookmarked while taking a step back from blogging, so it’s very disorganized; I should be blogging more frequently in the next few weeks as I’ve begun to get my life back under control. Next weeks’ ought to be more comprehensive.
Feel free to self-promote in the comments!
Asexuality saved my sex life.
No, seriously — I mean that.
From Skeptic’s Play: On asexual relationships
But it still frustrates me when asexuals imply that we should all want unconventional relationships. It’s a pretty easy mistake to make. First you’re complaining about people who think there’s no middle ground between romance and friendship. Next you’re complaining about people who refuse to be in the middle ground. I feel this is akin to a bisexual complaining that not everyone is bisexual. Or more aptly, a polyamorous person complaining that some people are monogamous, or a monogamous person complaining that some people are polyamorous. It sucks, I know, and you want to complain. But I don’t feel comfortable with complaining about other people’s sexualities when that’s just a part of who they are.
From Anger is Justified: Shame cannot fight shame
Shaming people for their lack of desire is not sex positivity. It’s not progressive. It’s not helping remove the cloak of shame around sexuality. It’s just encouraging more people not to open up about the subject, thus reinforcing the shame. Oppressing people about their sexual choices is not on, and it’s no good if the people meant to be fighting that shaming perpetrate it upon different groups. Face it, while there’s a lot of sex-negativity at large in our culture, there’s also a hell of a lot of no-sex negativity.
From asexual curiosities: 100% positive
This post is about holding asexuals to a particular standard of non-judgementalism in sexual matters. I’ve seen it said that the existance of judgemental asexuals reflects badly on asexuals as a whole. Which is not just wrong on the basis that it judges everyone in the minority by the standards of one member’s faults. It is also wrong because it is blatently hypocritical.
The absence of a sexual relationship doesn’t erase the character’s sexuality any more than it erases a real person’s sexuality. It’s a part of how people interact with the world.
From findingsherlock: How to Love Your Asexual Without Really Trying
Moral of the story: love isn’t that complicated, it just is what it is. But talking about love is complex and often overladen with socio-linguistic meaning and cultural baggage and suffocated in “supposed tos” and “must dos.” Relax, take a deep breath and hold on.
The key to being a sexual while loving your asexual is to love them. That’s it. Honestly.
From the Veerblog: A Love Letter From the Sidelines
Because of the online ace community, I no longer feel alone. I plan to head the school’s GSA, so that I can try to make sure no one ever feels so alone again, and so that I can give them the same level of support I’ve received. The ace community has equipped me with the words and ideas I need to give a speech on the subject, which I plan to give to all 180 students in my year, and more if I can. I’ve found something that I am fascinated by and truly passionate about.
From Shades of Gray: Confirmation Bias and Anti-Asexual Sentiment
The same phenomenon is happening here, only with asexuals. In any group, there will be people who step out of line, and say offensive things. But to say that all of us are like that, especially when in order to even see the comment in question you have to go through other asexuals who are calling that person out, is pretty ridiculous. And it’s especially so because this exact same phenomenon happens to gay people, too.
From Black Dog Musings: On how not dating doesn’t make it easier
My relationships, on the other hand, are more “So, here are your eggs. And you remember hearing about that box everyone else gets? You don’t get one. But you do get this one. We’re not sure what it’s made of. Could be bloody Graphene, could be straw. We don’t know.
From A Fine Line: Monopoly, dining out, and DIY relationships
When people ask me if I’m dating anyone, going out with anyone, or — more commonly — if I have a boyfriend, it feels rather like they’ve asked me if I have wings or a tail. I’m sure this question would be relevant to some (X-Men!), but I’ve clearly wandered into the wrong party.